It’s not that i don’t want to have a lot of friends, it’s not like i don’t have a significant amount of friends. I mean, not to get me wrong, but i do love having people to be with, talk to and have fun with, but not all people are the same. If everyone was the same, you would never have to think about someone not being there the next day. It’s the fact that when you go to sleep, you might wake up with one less friend. && if thats the case, it becomes more of a every day, month , or year thing. Once someone is gone, everybody’s gone. It’s like a trend. When someone decides to disappear, slowly, everyone that was there will never be there again. It’s not good to think about that, but when it happens so much and so quick, it’s really hard not to. People say i’m going to end up alone in my future, only because i choose not to have as many friends. My biggest fear is to be alone, but when you know that when someone was there one minute could be gone the next, you don’t want to have friends. You don’t want to worry about being depressed and always crying. After a while, you don’t cry anymore because all the pain you feel was already felt a billion times before that, It gets to the point where crying doesn’t even cross your mind anymore. So when people judge me about not having friends or a “life”, they should realize that we all go through this, especially for the past two years, it gets hard.
